she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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