Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
