There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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