They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
