Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
