One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
