if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
