I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
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They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN