Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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