I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it glows. i had to have it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.