I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.