i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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