Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
