Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Someone shit on the floor
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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