He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
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splinters make it hard to masturbate
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
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cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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