Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
