I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
