last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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