She said her name was "party"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
