I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
