I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize