he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no you cant smoke seaweed
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
