Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
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what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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