Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We just shotgunned beers for America
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
