Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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