I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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