Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
