i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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