i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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