Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
