He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
