It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
