How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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