she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
