I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
