So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
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He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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