I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize