also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
