Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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