Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize