those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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