They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
