i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
