is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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