Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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