whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
