I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
