Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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