You work out of a Hotel?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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