You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize