there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize