Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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