i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We got so high we made milksteak
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
