On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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