the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
vagina is talking i cant
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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