Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
