at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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