I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
