she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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