I'm sorry my penis didn't work
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
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Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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