She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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