the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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